Isang buan pa lang ang nakaraang post ko tungkol dito pero may mga bago na naman akong "experiences" sa aming napakagandang banyo. Yep, masaya man sila o hinde, medyo entertaining pa rin kung hindi siya sa inyo nangyari. Kaya imaginin niyo, kayo ang nasa pusisyon ko.
1. Anak ng Linta!
Isipin mo na lang na nag-shower ka sa cubicle. Kaya lang kasi, noong pinatay mo ang tubig, biglang may mga gumapang mula sa drain. Yikes! Isang tropa ng linta pala. As in those blood-sucking, creepy, freaky annelids. Siyempre, madali ka na lang lumabas sa cubicle.
2. Duling ka Talaga!
Isipin mo, habang ikaw ay nakaupo sa loob ng cubicle, may pumasok sa kabilang cubicle para umihi. Ang pinagtatakahan mo lang, bakit parang nababasa ang mga paa mo e hindi mo naman pinaglalaruan ang tabo at timba mo. Tsaka mo napansin na nanggagaling sa kabilang cubicle ang "tubig" at narinig mong hindi nashushoot dun sa bowl ang ihi ng sinumang nandun. EEEEWWWW!
3. Sabi ng sit like a king e!
Pagkatapos mong kumuha ng tubig para panghugas mo sa pwet mo, siyempre, hahanap ka na ng cubicle. At napansin mong may nakaupo sa magkabilang dulo ng tatlong cubicle. Tumingin ka sa gitna at napansin mong wala namang paa. Kaya ng buksan mo ang cubicle, laking gulat mo ng biglang may tumulak sa pinto! Ayun, may nakaupo pala... parang palaka nga lang!
4. Brief Encounter
Bago ka maligo, nilalagay mo ang mga shampoo at sabon mo dun sa taas ng dingding ng cubicle para hindi sila mababad sa tubig. Ng kukunin mo na ang sabon mo, kinapa mo ang taas ng dingding.E mali pala ang nakapkap mo kaya laking gulat mo ng biglang mahulugan ka ng talong pirasong maruming underwear! YYYAAAAAAKK! Sana man lang, nilabhan na sana bago iniwan dun! Kaya lang kasi, hindi e!
5. Toothbrush blues
Nang ikaw ay magtutoothbrush na sana, nahulog ang toothbrush mo sa lababo. Ang problema, may something dun sa lababo. Ng kunin mo na ang toothbrush mo, tsaka mo nalaman na may naglabas ng isang baso ng sipon sa lababo at hindi man lang niya naisipang hugasan ng tubig! Itapon mo na lang ang brush mo!
6. Magtoothbrush ka na lang
May mga taong sadyang walang hiya lang talaga. Biruan mo, nasa banyo ka para makapagrelax habang naliligo ka ng biglang may kakanta ng mga J.J.-ish at rakista songs ng buong lakas! Ang problema, sintunado siya at nakakagising siya! Kaya daig pa niya ang pagkakanta ng mga balyena. At least ang sa balyena, graceful pakinggan. E kung yung sa kanya na lang, mas gugustuhin ko pang makinig na lang sa mag-asawang nagtatapunan ng plato... mas relaxing yun. Message ko sa kanya: "Magtoothbrush ka na lang!"
Anim na muna. Mag-iipon pa ako ng bagong experience.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Bathroom Confessions of a Dormer (Repost from Multiply)
I opened my multiply account just recently it was a bit bittersweeet to see how fast time flew and to see how I have grown as a person. I may not have changed a lot physically (haaah! same face pa rin :P) but I have matured emotionally. I have chosen a few posts I liked and hopefully, others liked too :)
One of the worst things you'll ever see in an all-male dormitory is the bathroom. Your first ever trip to this place will definitely be unforgettable. In fact, I'd like to share a few *random* experiences. By random, I mean something you wouldn't see in a normal bathroom.
Malamang gawa ng FS105 (Microbio na naka-focus sa food sanitation) ko na klase ang pagiging OC ko pagdating sa banyo. Pero siguro, kung mangyayari rin sa inyo ang mga to, baka hindi kayanin ng sikmura niyo... kaya kapag binabasa niyo ito, siguraduhin niyo lang na di kayo kumakain.
To begin, I live in a University Dormitory in U.P. Diliman... at hindi na ito Kalai.
At eto na ang top ten list ng weird things that happen in the bathroom:
#10 Tubig, tubig, asan ka na?
Imaginin mo, habang nagsashower ka, biglang namatay ang tubig. Ang problema ay kung may shampoo ang buhok mo! Yikes! Nakakainis ano? At nung mangyari sa akin ito, naghintay ako ng isa't kalahating oras bago sindiin ang tubig ulit! Buti na nga lang may ilaw!
#9 Crawling in my skin...
Alam niyo ba ang kanta ng Linkin' Park na Crawling? Malamang magandang theme song ito para sa banyo. Biruan niyo, habang ika'y naliligo, bigla ka na lang makakakita ng giant worm na gumagapang mula sa drain papunta sa dingding ng cubicle... at papalapit ng papalapit sayo! Who knows where kung saan nanggaling ang mga bulateng yun. Hindi naman kasi sila earthworms e... kulay itim at puti kasi...
#8 Labas at pasok
At dahil may isang cubicle na walang lock sa dorm... kaya lang yun ang may pinakamatinong shower so maraming nagtetake ng risk na maligo dun. Ang problema nga ay yun... walang lock! So imaginin mo na lang ang gulat naming mga nagtootoothbrush ng biglang may napasigaw mula sa cubicles. Yun pala, may pumasok dun sa cubicle habang nagsasabon yung guy dun sa loob. Buti na lang talaga, tapos na akong maligo nun.
#7 Under...covers
Kung kukuha ka ng tubig para sa timba mo, dadaan ka muna sa gripo ng labada. At doon ay makikita mo sina Mr. Hanford, Mr. Playboy, Mr. Bench, Mr. Walker at iba pa... Ang problem, kahit nalabhan na sila, merong mga hindi yata "napaliguan: ng maayos... Yung iba kasi may "libag" pa. Ang problema lang habang hinihintay mong mapuno ang timba mo, nakikipageye-to-eye ka muna sa kanila.
#6 Flush
How old are people living in the dorms? All I know is they are at least old enough to know that they need to flush the toilet after using them!
#5 I have two hands...
Kadiri di ba, na meron pa ring mga taong hindi marunong maghugas ng kamay pag katatapos lang nilang umihi... Yuck! At kung hinawakan mo ang flushers sa dorm, palagay ko ay dapat mo na ring i-alcohol ang kamay mo pagkatapos mong maghugas... but NO! Marami pa rin ang mga diretso labas ng banyo pagkatapos umihi... Kasi naman pala di naman daw nila hinawakan ang flusher ng bowl dahil di nila finlush ang ihi nila! :P
#4 Tsunami!
Kapag ika'y nasa loob ng cubicle, ipagdasal mo na sana ay hindi umalon ng malakas ang tubig na nasa paanan mo... dahil may 90% chance na hindi tubig ang inaapakan mo kundi ihi... o baka pinaghugasan ng puwit. Andami kasing naduduling pagdating sa pag-ihi yata. Di ata sila asintado!
#3 Hairy encounters
Ever heard of hair balls? We have hair monsters. I think they even breathe and swim. EEEWW! Imaginin mo kung saan-saan ka makakakita ng buhok... Di bale sana kung buhok galing sa ulo yun e. Ang madalas kasi, makikita mong buhok ay yung parang sa bunot... yung matigas... at patay...crinkly pa nga. At madalas na makikita mo sa may inodoro, sa may lababo, sa may labahan ng underwear, at sa may showers. Yung iba, parang nakikipagsubunutan yata habang umiihi sila... biruan niyo andaming naiiwan sa toilet bowl!
#2 two-ply
Imaginin mo, iihi ka sana. Tapos biglang humangin ng malakas. Susunod na alam mo, umuulan na ng tissue... but wait, bakit parang may kumain ng chocolate sa cubicle at ginamit ang tissue na nahuhulog sa iyo na pampunas ng bunganga. Then you realize na hindi lang naman chocolate ang bagay na brown na pwedeng pahirin kapag ika'y nasa banyo... EEEEWWWW!
#1 Toilet Blues
May isang message lang ako sa lahat ng nasa dorm ko... Don't seat like a frog. Seat like a queen... or king for that matter. Grabe lang ha! Imaginin mo kung bigla kang may makitang liquefied na digestion product sa may water tank ng bowl. In other words, bakit may jebs sa may flusher? Tumutulo-tulo pa! Yuck! Sana man lang di ba pinunasan na lang niya at least baka nasa number two lang siya ng listahan ko! Yuck yuck and yuck!
EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
One of the worst things you'll ever see in an all-male dormitory is the bathroom. Your first ever trip to this place will definitely be unforgettable. In fact, I'd like to share a few *random* experiences. By random, I mean something you wouldn't see in a normal bathroom.
Malamang gawa ng FS105 (Microbio na naka-focus sa food sanitation) ko na klase ang pagiging OC ko pagdating sa banyo. Pero siguro, kung mangyayari rin sa inyo ang mga to, baka hindi kayanin ng sikmura niyo... kaya kapag binabasa niyo ito, siguraduhin niyo lang na di kayo kumakain.
To begin, I live in a University Dormitory in U.P. Diliman... at hindi na ito Kalai.
At eto na ang top ten list ng weird things that happen in the bathroom:
#10 Tubig, tubig, asan ka na?
Imaginin mo, habang nagsashower ka, biglang namatay ang tubig. Ang problema ay kung may shampoo ang buhok mo! Yikes! Nakakainis ano? At nung mangyari sa akin ito, naghintay ako ng isa't kalahating oras bago sindiin ang tubig ulit! Buti na nga lang may ilaw!
#9 Crawling in my skin...
Alam niyo ba ang kanta ng Linkin' Park na Crawling? Malamang magandang theme song ito para sa banyo. Biruan niyo, habang ika'y naliligo, bigla ka na lang makakakita ng giant worm na gumagapang mula sa drain papunta sa dingding ng cubicle... at papalapit ng papalapit sayo! Who knows where kung saan nanggaling ang mga bulateng yun. Hindi naman kasi sila earthworms e... kulay itim at puti kasi...
#8 Labas at pasok
At dahil may isang cubicle na walang lock sa dorm... kaya lang yun ang may pinakamatinong shower so maraming nagtetake ng risk na maligo dun. Ang problema nga ay yun... walang lock! So imaginin mo na lang ang gulat naming mga nagtootoothbrush ng biglang may napasigaw mula sa cubicles. Yun pala, may pumasok dun sa cubicle habang nagsasabon yung guy dun sa loob. Buti na lang talaga, tapos na akong maligo nun.
#7 Under...covers
Kung kukuha ka ng tubig para sa timba mo, dadaan ka muna sa gripo ng labada. At doon ay makikita mo sina Mr. Hanford, Mr. Playboy, Mr. Bench, Mr. Walker at iba pa... Ang problem, kahit nalabhan na sila, merong mga hindi yata "napaliguan: ng maayos... Yung iba kasi may "libag" pa. Ang problema lang habang hinihintay mong mapuno ang timba mo, nakikipageye-to-eye ka muna sa kanila.
#6 Flush
How old are people living in the dorms? All I know is they are at least old enough to know that they need to flush the toilet after using them!
#5 I have two hands...
Kadiri di ba, na meron pa ring mga taong hindi marunong maghugas ng kamay pag katatapos lang nilang umihi... Yuck! At kung hinawakan mo ang flushers sa dorm, palagay ko ay dapat mo na ring i-alcohol ang kamay mo pagkatapos mong maghugas... but NO! Marami pa rin ang mga diretso labas ng banyo pagkatapos umihi... Kasi naman pala di naman daw nila hinawakan ang flusher ng bowl dahil di nila finlush ang ihi nila! :P
#4 Tsunami!
Kapag ika'y nasa loob ng cubicle, ipagdasal mo na sana ay hindi umalon ng malakas ang tubig na nasa paanan mo... dahil may 90% chance na hindi tubig ang inaapakan mo kundi ihi... o baka pinaghugasan ng puwit. Andami kasing naduduling pagdating sa pag-ihi yata. Di ata sila asintado!
#3 Hairy encounters
Ever heard of hair balls? We have hair monsters. I think they even breathe and swim. EEEWW! Imaginin mo kung saan-saan ka makakakita ng buhok... Di bale sana kung buhok galing sa ulo yun e. Ang madalas kasi, makikita mong buhok ay yung parang sa bunot... yung matigas... at patay...crinkly pa nga. At madalas na makikita mo sa may inodoro, sa may lababo, sa may labahan ng underwear, at sa may showers. Yung iba, parang nakikipagsubunutan yata habang umiihi sila... biruan niyo andaming naiiwan sa toilet bowl!
#2 two-ply
Imaginin mo, iihi ka sana. Tapos biglang humangin ng malakas. Susunod na alam mo, umuulan na ng tissue... but wait, bakit parang may kumain ng chocolate sa cubicle at ginamit ang tissue na nahuhulog sa iyo na pampunas ng bunganga. Then you realize na hindi lang naman chocolate ang bagay na brown na pwedeng pahirin kapag ika'y nasa banyo... EEEEWWWW!
#1 Toilet Blues
May isang message lang ako sa lahat ng nasa dorm ko... Don't seat like a frog. Seat like a queen... or king for that matter. Grabe lang ha! Imaginin mo kung bigla kang may makitang liquefied na digestion product sa may water tank ng bowl. In other words, bakit may jebs sa may flusher? Tumutulo-tulo pa! Yuck! Sana man lang di ba pinunasan na lang niya at least baka nasa number two lang siya ng listahan ko! Yuck yuck and yuck!
EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Monday, July 04, 2011
5 (Disgusting) Ingredients You Probably Didn't Think You're Using...Until Now
1. Crushed Insects
Next time you're in a cactus garden, you might see some small scaly looking insects on some plants. They look something like this:
The last thing you'd ever think of doing to them is touch them or eat them even... right?
UHMMM....
These scaly insects are actually being farmed and harvested for one thing: the color red! Yup everything that you probably use which is of a shade of red probably has these little crawling things as one of its main ingredients. That little lipstick of yours, that red shirt you are wearing and even that red gum you are chewing. Yum! What they do is they dry the insects and then crush them. Some guy probably decided to crush these little pests for no reason and then decided to use the guts of this insect for his food....
2. Whale Crap or poop
We all have heard of the never-ending fights between whales and Giant Squid but this usually ends with the squid beeing digested by the whale. However not all parts of the squid is digestable like the beak which is pointy and sharp. Imagine the pain you'll feel if you accidentally swallowed a knife. So to protect themselves, sperm whales produce a waxy substance inside their stomachs called ambergris to make the passage of the sharp stuff easier. Of course, in time it collects inside the stomach so the only way to expel it is either through the whales back end or the mouth... Imagine the smell either way :-/
SO?
Well the thing is, ambergris, after it oxidizes and becomes all waxy and greyish (with still some poop on the side sometimes) smells musky (or funky) and is being used for all those European perfumes you loved to use to impress that girl or that guy you have been using. What you didn't know was you were actually spraying some whale crap on yourself to make you smell alluring...
3. Cow Poop
Cow dung doesn't smell the loveliest among things. You wouldn't think of putting it on your body much less of eating it right?
RIGHT?
Well just recently, Japanese scientists were able to extract vanillin from cow dung by heating it. So probably, the next time you eat that satisfying vanilla ice cream or use that vanilla-smelling perfume, think about this too:
4. Insect Secretion
We've had dead insects in this list so what's worse than that? Well we've had bodily secretions on the list too from whales why not insects? Oh we have one on the list too? great! Shellac is that thing which makes a lot of things from doors to tables shiny. Where does it come from? the lac bug secretes it as it lives inside the bark of some trees.
AS LONG AS I DON'T EAT It.... oh...
Shellac is also used to make those apples oh so shiny and those pills so appealing. Hey is that a glazed candy with a shiny coat? great...
5. A Beaver's Behind
Apparently, that "Natural Flavoring" you see in Vanilla or Raspberry ice cream is there for a reason. Would you eat it if you found out it came from some body parts near the anal glands of a beaver. Castoreum is basically the secretion from these parts which is mixed with the urine by the beaver when it's marking its territory. For some reason, this wiseguy decided to collect beaver pee and put it in his ice cream... and ended up eating vanilla-flavored ice cream.Could this be the reason why Haagen Dasz is so expensive?
Next time you're in a cactus garden, you might see some small scaly looking insects on some plants. They look something like this:
 |
| They look so crunchy and squishy |
UHMMM....
These scaly insects are actually being farmed and harvested for one thing: the color red! Yup everything that you probably use which is of a shade of red probably has these little crawling things as one of its main ingredients. That little lipstick of yours, that red shirt you are wearing and even that red gum you are chewing. Yum! What they do is they dry the insects and then crush them. Some guy probably decided to crush these little pests for no reason and then decided to use the guts of this insect for his food....
2. Whale Crap or poop
We all have heard of the never-ending fights between whales and Giant Squid but this usually ends with the squid beeing digested by the whale. However not all parts of the squid is digestable like the beak which is pointy and sharp. Imagine the pain you'll feel if you accidentally swallowed a knife. So to protect themselves, sperm whales produce a waxy substance inside their stomachs called ambergris to make the passage of the sharp stuff easier. Of course, in time it collects inside the stomach so the only way to expel it is either through the whales back end or the mouth... Imagine the smell either way :-/
 |
| It doesn't smell like whale poop now but still looks like it... Just a li'l bit dried out |
SO?
Well the thing is, ambergris, after it oxidizes and becomes all waxy and greyish (with still some poop on the side sometimes) smells musky (or funky) and is being used for all those European perfumes you loved to use to impress that girl or that guy you have been using. What you didn't know was you were actually spraying some whale crap on yourself to make you smell alluring...
3. Cow Poop
Cow dung doesn't smell the loveliest among things. You wouldn't think of putting it on your body much less of eating it right?
RIGHT?
Well just recently, Japanese scientists were able to extract vanillin from cow dung by heating it. So probably, the next time you eat that satisfying vanilla ice cream or use that vanilla-smelling perfume, think about this too:
 | ||
| Mmmmmm... tastes like vanilla with just a little bit of grass |
We've had dead insects in this list so what's worse than that? Well we've had bodily secretions on the list too from whales why not insects? Oh we have one on the list too? great! Shellac is that thing which makes a lot of things from doors to tables shiny. Where does it come from? the lac bug secretes it as it lives inside the bark of some trees.
AS LONG AS I DON'T EAT It.... oh...
Shellac is also used to make those apples oh so shiny and those pills so appealing. Hey is that a glazed candy with a shiny coat? great...
5. A Beaver's Behind
Apparently, that "Natural Flavoring" you see in Vanilla or Raspberry ice cream is there for a reason. Would you eat it if you found out it came from some body parts near the anal glands of a beaver. Castoreum is basically the secretion from these parts which is mixed with the urine by the beaver when it's marking its territory. For some reason, this wiseguy decided to collect beaver pee and put it in his ice cream... and ended up eating vanilla-flavored ice cream.Could this be the reason why Haagen Dasz is so expensive?
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