5 Things Adults Make/Made for Children (but totally aren't)

It just makes me wonder sometimes how adults seem to think they know how to humor little boys and girls when sometimes they end up scarring them for life. And now, to the list:

1. Clowns

I don't know whose brilliant idea it was to paint on a face with a humongous mouth and call it funny. Clown's don't look funny at all; they look creepy… even scary. Children sometimes even cry when they see clowns in a party. Most of the time, they get so scared that they develop into phobias into adulthood. Is putting on clown make-up some kind of sick humor invented by adults so they can show children who is boss? As for the clowns themselves, don’t they realize that one of the main problem as to why they have difficulties in managing children’s parties is because the children are too afraid to go near them… either they just don’t get that or they are just plain evil. As to who is the scariest clown, I’d probably say it’s that guy from some farm in a yellow and red outfit that makes you eat burgers and floats and makes you all fat and big so he can eat you in the future.

2. Ventriloquist puppets/ Porcelain dolls

Remember those little dolls or puppets which have those big round glass eyes that blink when you move the doll.  And that stare…. that stare onto blank space which makes you think that the doll is staring at your soul and that it is trying to steal your soul so it can finally walk and live a life on its own. But seriously, who thought of making those creepy dolls anyway? Children get nightmares thinking about them… and more importantly, why do adults still collect them after Chuckie and all the other series of Child’s Play sequels made you want to throw all the toys in your house. Do those blank stares have some kind of hypnotic effect?

"I'm looking into your soul"

3. Barney

If you don’t know Barney, you are probably way too old or too young to be using the internet. For you people who were lucky enough to not be introduced to this purple and annoyingly-happy dinosaur, he was just that: Purple, annoying as hell and with a chuckle that’s reminiscent of new chalk on a blackboard. Oh… and he had a green triceratops girlfriend too (Baby Bop). I forgot to mention that he was a t-rex. Yup  for some reason, adults forgot Barney was this:

"I'm purple and annoying"

Or they just probably want to make the kids learn in horror as to what Barney would do to his girlfriend after shooting all of the seasons.

4. Fairy Tales

If you grew up watching Disney cartoons and movies which actually make sense when compared to Miley Cyrus, then you probably know the untrue stories of the Fairy Tales we all love. But the original fairy tales were far from the happily ever after thingie Disney embedded in our mindset. In fact, they were actually gruesome and not kid-friendly. For example, Sleeping Beauty was actually raped and the reason why she woke up was because after she gave birth to twins (while she was asleep) one of them decided to suck on her thumb. The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen ended in her suicide, and that her tongue was cut off so she can’t speak… oh and whenever she walked, her new feet bled like hell. Cinderella’s step sisters cut off bits and pieces of their legs, Snow White’s step mother wanted to eat her (snow white’s) innards, etc. For some reason, Disney decided to make these stories for children.

"She's so pretty when she's sleeping. Maybe I should sleep with her."

5. Nursery Rhymes

We learned them at school, listened to cassette tapes with them, even played while singing them… Now if only we knew how political and sometimes gruesome they actually were. Whose idea was it to make them songs for children anyway? Would you sing a song about the symptoms of the Bubonic Plague while happily spinning around of you actually knew what they were; Or that Mary’s silver bells and cockleshells were actually torturing devices during the time of Queen Mary. Oh and those cockleshells were used for men only…

"Guess where I got attached"

Monotony

After around a month of doing something everyday, things start to get pretty boring so It pays to have some form of hobby on the side just to let your mind wander off someplace else. Every now and then you get to see something unusual at work like this Brandy which is older than my grandparents ...or seeing a dark shadow of a person when you're all alone in the office...

My hobby was baking but if  I kept baking cheesecakes every week, I would probably become fat again, or make my sisters fat (MWAHAHAHA) so I have to change that hobby...

Quilled Fairy

So I discovered a new hobby. I needed some kind of outlet for my creative-artistic side and so I found about paper quilling. Basically, it's just curling strips of paper and forming them into figures. Sounds easy? Not really... For my first attempt I used all the paper snips from my paperwork. Here's what I produced:

15 lbs!

At home I had to continue exercising but going to the gym costs a lot. I needed some form of weight for my resistance training. Then I realized my old readings weighed a ton when I brought them to class. Why not use them? It turns out 3 of them together weighed 15 pounds! Bigatin talagang mag-isip mga prof ng UP! So with a little help from the net and some tweaking, I'm happily back on track with my exercise program :) Now I can continue baking every week :))

King of the Weight Divisions

Ever since I began exercising regularly, and doing some strenth training, I've been hearing two comments: "Tumaba ka!" or "Parang lumiit ang ulo mo..." The first comment makes me furiously annoyed and the second one is probably still acceptable for me. Yeah, I gained wait but it's because I gained muscle mass, but that does not make me fat... does it?


Since high school, I really hated being told that I got fatter. the word "fat" was something which was taboo for me. I didn't know why I despised the word so much. Pondering about it, I just realized recently why I hated the term 'fat'. It might have something to do with me actually being really fat when I was really young.

Throughout my life, I've been through the different sections of the BMI for Filipinos; from the underweight to the almost obese section. Yep, I've been there and in this case, been that too :P How fat was I then? let's just say that my weight when my height was 4'4" was just ten pounds lighter when I was 5'3", I wore Medium or Large-sized shirts (adult size) in grade school, and I wear Small or Medium shirts now. I looked like I was a snowman then... all circles and no neck!

Jar Jar Binks

After being fat, my weight went to normal in the BMI for 6 months and after that, I went to being underweight by eleven pounds. It was around this time that my sisters and some of my friends called me Jar Jar Binks from star wars... Apparently, we both had long bony necks.


I might say that I hate the term fat because during the period when I was fat, I felt weak, tired, and I didn't feel good about myself. It was probably something that I didn't want to become again and being called fat makes me feel like I'm going back to that stage in my life. But just because I don't want to be fat does not mean I hate food. On the contrary, I love food and preparing desserts is something which I love doing.


I recently made a Mango-Peach-Strawberry Cheesecake. :) yum yum... Eating right is a must but rewarding yourself for achievements is something which you need to do too... In this case, the reward is a slice of cheesecake <3

Peach-Mango Cheesecake

P.S. Making that rose from mango slices was fun! LOL

First Salt

Apparently, salary came from the word salarium which had its root from "sal" or salt. Basically, people were so uhm... dumb... then that they didn't even think of letting some sea water evaporate to produce salt, which is why part of the pay for the workers then was made in the form of salt.

So I received my first salary (kinda) since I'm just a trainee, its well below minimum but it's still enough to be able to treat my family. I can't treat my friends since I'm in Angeles and they are 60 km away from me. So I had this brilliant idea to just cook a very nice, restaurant-ish kind of dinner which would only cost me around 1000 pesos.

King oyster mushrooms

While shopping for ingredients, I saw some weird mushrooms in the veggie corner, so I just grabbed everything I could *probably* afford... Shiitake, King Oyster, Honshimeji, Lion's Mane, Straw, Golden, Baby Portobello, and some Banana Mushrooms. I also grabbed some baby potatoes, 2 whole chickens, some cream cheese, and some berries... oh and cheese

When I got home, I ended up cooking some buttered mushrooms (King oyster mushrrooms really taste seafood-ish and scallop-ish and the Portobellos taste beefy); baby potatoes and cheese; Orange-Rosemary Roast Chicken; a berry-white Muscat punch for our beverage, and for dessert, I made a berry cheesecake which had a very smooth texture... WOOOHOO! Finally made a cheesecake with the right texture and flavor...

A slice of cheesecake outside would probably cost 95 pesos... I made a cheesecake good for 10 slices for 600 pesos :) the crust was made from some old amaretto biscuits and graham crackers. The proportions for the cheese mixture were 2 Cups Cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, 1 T lemon juice, 1 T flour, 2 whole eggs. I used strawberries, green and golden kiwis, and some blackberries :)

 

I miss my friends... I miss their pleasing personalities, the geeky stuff we talk about, the sensible fights, the silent laughs, the BDD monologues, the funny faces, and the ear-piercing shrieks... >:D< I think I owe you guys a cheesecake or a drink :P

Holy Week Cooking

So we all know that Catholics don't eat a meat on Good Friday so for our lunch, I made some stuffed cabbage flowers :) They were all tender and gooey inside because of the cheese. If you want to make them, I'll write down the recipe here :)

Ingredients:
2 bunches of Squash leaves and flowers (you can't buy an all flower bunch in the market)
2 large tomatoes, seeded and diced
1/2 C of cubed cheddar or any salty cheese
1/2 C of cubed mozzarella cheese
1/4 cup of chopped olives and/or capers
2 cloves of garlic, diced
2 Tablespoons chopped fresh basil leaves
1/4 C olive oil
and some hot chicken stock or broth

1. Rinse the squash leaves and flowers. Carefully separate the flower heads from their stems and put them in a bowl of water. Refrigerate them for 30 minutes so they'll fully open and "bloom." Once the flowers have "bloomed" enough to be handled, remove the pistils/stamens carefully without damaging the flower petals.

Choose the larger squash leaves and leave around 3 inches of the stem. Discard the smaller leaves. (or cook them ginataan)

2. In a pot, heat the chicken stock or broth and boil the squash leaves only until they are malleable enough to   maintain their shapes when folded.

3. In a bowl, mix the remaining ingredients except for the olive oil. Carefully stuff the flowers with the mixture and close the petals on top to secure the stuffing. For the leaves, put a teaspoon or tablespoon (depending on the size of the leaf) in the middle and fol the leaves as if you are making a small envelope... that's left flap first, then right, top, then bottom. Use the remaining stem to "tie" the envelope so it wouldn't open when the leaves are being cooked.

4. Arrange the stuffed leaves and flowers in a pan and cover them with olive oil. Place them in an oven for 30 minutes until the flowers have become tender but not burnt.

This makes around 40 pieces.

R and R

I've began my training as a sommelier yesterday and I wouldn't want to jinx it by saying that I think this is something which I'd really like doing. It's almost electrifying to see and hold the wines we have studied before. I can't believe I'm actually holding Dom Perignons, Chateuneuf de Papes, Alsatian Wines, Quinta Do Noval Vintage ports, Sherries... etc. some wines, I wouldn't even dare holding such as the 1.4 Million Peso Petrus or the 240,000 Peso Dominus.

Although I am having a lot fun, even though it's just my second day of training, I feel exhausted... extremely exhausted... Who wouldn't be after trying to find 5 different bottles of rare wines in 7 different cellar rooms with wine cabinets going almost all the way up to the ceiling? LOL

It's times like this that I'd like to have something really relaxing before I sleep. like a nice Genmaicha (Japanese Brown Rice Tea)... Genmaicha has this really nice aroma of roasted rice, popcorn, and tea. It's flavor is surprisingly mild, smoky, and relaxing. Its color is a relaxing yellow-green reminding the drinker of either rice fields or the grass at the Sunken Garden of UP in December. I love it either warm or cold, depending on the weather, but its temperature affects its flavor too. Cold Genmaicha somehow makes the tannins and tea flavor more powerful while warm Genmaicha raises the smoky flavor to the surface.

Cheers! :) pictures next update :)

Yes... But Not Really... uhmm No

It's funny when people mistake you for having the opposite of something you have (or don't have). It begins with this joyful appreciation of what you actually have or don't have, then comes the denial, then the awkward silence, and finally the self-doubt. For example, a girl I know are a little bit rounder for the past month and when some friends saw her the dialogue was something like this:

Friend 1: Ohemgee! ang cute mo ngayon... napakablooming! (OMG! you are so cute today... so blooming)
Friend 2: Eh natural mare, baka batang babae ata ang dinadala niya (Naturally, she's probably conceiving baby girl)
Girl: *smiles bashfully* uhm, di ako buntis (I'm not pregnant)
---------insert the sound of crickets here-----------------------
Girl: I'm not eating tonight or tomorrow!

Sometimes, side comments also cause the same effect even if you are not directly being referred to. Going to the gym to exercise naturally causes muscle growth and with it weight gain... here are a few awkward comments (especially if you are a guy) that one can hear as he/she exercise and try to get healthier/leaner:
"Uuuuy! Tumaba ka na sa wakas. Ang laki-laki mo na! *tone is similar to as if you are being compared to an elephant*
"Hala magpapayat ka kaya. Parang may cleavage ka na eh... bakit matigas?"
"Bakit parang ang taba mo, pero ang ulo mo pareho lang. Tapos wala ka namang double chin"
"Bumilog katawan mo... Pero wala kang tiyan... para kang palaka!"

After hearing those comments, you begin to doubt if you have been doing the right thing. LOL

On the topic of misconceptions, a certain type of wine comes into mind... What could be the worst that a full glass of very sweet, brilliant, fruity, juicy, and luscious red wine do to you? If it is Port, it could probably cause you to sweat profusely and would probably get you dizzy even if you have just finished half of it.

Port is a fortified wine produced only in the Douro Valley of Portugal. It is typically sweet because before all of the grape sugar is converted into alcohol, Brandy is added to the wine to stop the fermentation process. This produces a full-bodied wine with an alcohol content of 40 proof or 20 percent alcohol by volume. Ports are mainly classified as Ruby, Tawny, or Vintage, based on the aging process. Through aging, red wines turn lighter and the color turns from red to brown. Ruby port then can be assumed to be younger than tawny port.

Partners Ruby Port is produced by Sandeman. It has a ruby core and a garnet rim. The smell is a stronger and fruitier version of the Mateus (see Mateus Post, April 19, 2011) since the grape varieties used are similar. It has a very sweet and fruity bouquet  similar to figs, raisins and cranberries. It is very sweet, full-bodied, and has a similar flavor to dried fruits. It has a sweet finish that doesn't cloy.

Note slow "legs" in the sides of the goblet as a sign of high alcohol content