Random Ramblings: The Church Inside My Mind

I still pray at night but I haven't gone to the church in a while... By "a while" I meant ever since the Church decided to threaten pro-RH Bill people with excommunication and since the Church decided to have all the homilies dedicated to the RH Bill.

I remember a resource speaker when I was still in high school who had a flawed argument about how the Philippines is not economically overpopulated. He said that while traveling to our school, he passed by the NLEX where the fields were planted with rice. He said if we were overpopulated, all of these open lands should have been built over by houses. He forgot the fact that if all of these fields had houses, we won't have enough space to plant our crops. Hello famine! It was ironic as well that around that time, there was an issue that we were importing rice because we couldn't meet the demand in our country. I would have loved to ask him about how we would be able to get our daily fix of rice if all of the fields would be occupied... but if I reacted that way, the nuns in my school might have kicked me out a few months before my graduation.

It's funny how some priests act like they know everything about poverty and family planning when they don't even have families of their own... Oh... right, some of them do! And poverty? Right, they don't work but they get enough money to have their Parish Churches refurbished with all the glitzy stuff just so they can say "yumayaman na ang parokya ko."; and for some reason, they also always have enough money to afford using luxury vehicles... ehem ehem. I don't get the reason why parish priests feel the need to keep building chapels and churches when some are even less than a kilometer apart. Instead of using the money to build new ones in areas with existing chapels and churches, why not just help the needy, or donate them to a respectable charity. Or if they truly want to use it for building, build some place where there are no existing chapels for miles around.

Churches have always been part of the Filipino History and for some reason, parish priests always try to "modernize" these heritage churches. I remember this old church in our province. It was built during the Spanish Period. yet they decided to just demolish it and build a new modern chapel in its place. The new one is hideous... looking all hot pink and white like it was designed by Elle Woods. I think this is related in one way or another to the Filipino's nationalism.

I think it is selfish and unfair that the Catholic Church must dictate what our country is supposed to do when the Filipino Nation is not just made up of Catholics... I think it is unfair as well to the families and the children who suffer in poverty because they have been misinformed that making a plan as to how many children to have, and when to have them is the same as ABORTION. Not all of the people in the country have a collection bag where people voluntarily give them money everytime "Tanging Alay" is played in the background.

Banyo... Bow! (Repost from Multiply)

Isang buan pa lang ang nakaraang post ko tungkol dito pero may mga bago na naman akong "experiences" sa aming napakagandang banyo. Yep, masaya man sila o hinde, medyo entertaining pa rin kung hindi siya sa inyo nangyari. Kaya imaginin niyo, kayo ang nasa pusisyon ko.

1. Anak ng Linta!
Isipin mo na lang na nag-shower ka sa cubicle. Kaya lang kasi, noong pinatay mo ang tubig, biglang may mga gumapang mula sa drain. Yikes! Isang tropa ng linta pala. As in those blood-sucking, creepy, freaky annelids. Siyempre, madali ka na lang lumabas sa cubicle.

2. Duling ka Talaga!
Isipin mo, habang ikaw ay nakaupo sa loob ng cubicle, may pumasok sa kabilang cubicle para umihi. Ang pinagtatakahan mo lang, bakit parang nababasa ang mga paa mo e hindi mo naman pinaglalaruan ang tabo at timba mo. Tsaka mo napansin na nanggagaling sa kabilang cubicle ang "tubig" at narinig mong hindi nashushoot dun sa bowl ang ihi ng sinumang nandun. EEEEWWWW!

3. Sabi ng sit like a king e!
Pagkatapos mong kumuha ng tubig para panghugas mo sa pwet mo, siyempre, hahanap ka na ng cubicle. At napansin mong may nakaupo sa magkabilang dulo ng tatlong cubicle. Tumingin ka sa gitna at napansin mong wala namang paa. Kaya ng buksan mo ang cubicle, laking gulat mo ng biglang may tumulak sa pinto! Ayun, may nakaupo pala... parang palaka nga lang!

4. Brief Encounter
Bago ka maligo, nilalagay mo ang mga shampoo at sabon mo dun sa taas ng dingding ng cubicle para hindi sila mababad sa tubig. Ng kukunin mo na ang sabon mo, kinapa mo ang taas ng dingding.E mali pala ang nakapkap mo kaya laking gulat mo ng biglang mahulugan ka ng talong pirasong maruming underwear! YYYAAAAAAKK! Sana man lang, nilabhan na sana bago iniwan dun! Kaya lang kasi, hindi e!

5. Toothbrush blues
Nang ikaw ay magtutoothbrush na sana, nahulog ang toothbrush mo sa lababo. Ang problema, may something dun sa lababo. Ng kunin mo na ang toothbrush mo, tsaka mo nalaman na may naglabas ng isang baso ng sipon sa lababo at hindi man lang niya naisipang hugasan ng tubig! Itapon mo na lang ang brush mo!

6. Magtoothbrush ka na lang
May mga taong sadyang walang hiya lang talaga. Biruan mo, nasa banyo ka para makapagrelax habang naliligo ka ng biglang may kakanta ng mga J.J.-ish at rakista songs ng buong lakas! Ang problema, sintunado siya at nakakagising siya! Kaya daig pa niya ang pagkakanta ng mga balyena. At least ang sa balyena, graceful pakinggan. E kung yung sa kanya na lang, mas gugustuhin ko pang makinig na lang sa mag-asawang nagtatapunan ng plato... mas relaxing yun. Message ko sa kanya: "Magtoothbrush ka na lang!"

Anim na muna. Mag-iipon pa ako ng bagong experience.

Bathroom Confessions of a Dormer (Repost from Multiply)

I opened my multiply account just recently it was a bit bittersweeet to see how fast time flew and to see how I have grown as a person. I may not have changed a lot physically (haaah! same face pa rin :P) but I have matured emotionally. I have chosen a few posts I liked and hopefully, others liked too :)

One of the worst things you'll ever see in an all-male dormitory is the bathroom. Your first ever trip to this place will definitely be unforgettable. In fact, I'd like to share a few *random* experiences. By random, I mean something you wouldn't see in a normal bathroom.

Malamang gawa ng FS105 (Microbio na naka-focus sa food sanitation) ko na klase ang pagiging OC ko pagdating sa banyo. Pero siguro, kung mangyayari rin sa inyo ang mga to, baka hindi kayanin ng sikmura niyo... kaya kapag binabasa niyo ito, siguraduhin niyo lang na di kayo kumakain.

To begin, I live in a University Dormitory in U.P. Diliman... at hindi na ito Kalai.

At eto na ang top ten list ng weird things that happen in the bathroom:

#10 Tubig, tubig, asan ka na?
Imaginin mo, habang nagsashower ka, biglang namatay ang tubig. Ang problema ay kung may shampoo ang buhok mo! Yikes! Nakakainis ano? At nung mangyari sa akin ito, naghintay ako ng isa't kalahating oras bago sindiin ang tubig ulit! Buti na nga lang may ilaw!

#9 Crawling in my skin...
Alam niyo ba ang kanta ng Linkin' Park na Crawling? Malamang magandang theme song ito para sa banyo. Biruan niyo, habang ika'y naliligo, bigla ka na lang makakakita ng giant worm na gumagapang mula sa drain papunta sa dingding ng cubicle... at papalapit ng papalapit sayo! Who knows where kung saan nanggaling ang mga bulateng yun. Hindi naman kasi sila earthworms e... kulay itim at puti kasi...

#8 Labas at pasok
At dahil may isang cubicle na walang lock sa dorm... kaya lang yun ang may pinakamatinong shower so maraming nagtetake ng risk na maligo dun. Ang problema nga ay yun... walang lock! So imaginin mo na lang ang gulat naming mga nagtootoothbrush ng biglang may napasigaw mula sa cubicles. Yun pala, may pumasok dun sa cubicle habang nagsasabon yung guy dun sa loob. Buti na lang talaga, tapos na akong maligo nun.

#7 Under...covers
Kung kukuha ka ng tubig para sa timba mo, dadaan ka muna sa gripo ng labada. At doon ay makikita mo sina Mr. Hanford, Mr. Playboy, Mr. Bench, Mr. Walker at iba pa... Ang problem, kahit nalabhan na sila, merong mga hindi yata "napaliguan: ng maayos... Yung iba kasi may "libag" pa. Ang problema lang habang hinihintay mong mapuno ang timba mo, nakikipageye-to-eye ka muna sa kanila.

#6 Flush
How old are people living in the dorms? All I know is they are at least old enough to know that they need to flush the toilet after using them!

#5 I have two hands...
Kadiri di ba, na meron pa ring mga taong hindi marunong maghugas ng kamay pag katatapos lang nilang umihi... Yuck! At kung hinawakan mo ang flushers sa dorm, palagay ko ay dapat mo na ring i-alcohol ang kamay mo pagkatapos mong maghugas... but NO! Marami pa rin ang mga diretso labas ng banyo pagkatapos umihi... Kasi naman pala di naman daw nila hinawakan ang flusher ng bowl dahil di nila finlush ang ihi nila! :P

#4 Tsunami!
Kapag ika'y nasa loob ng cubicle, ipagdasal mo na sana ay hindi umalon ng malakas ang tubig na nasa paanan mo... dahil may 90% chance na hindi tubig ang inaapakan mo kundi ihi... o baka pinaghugasan ng puwit. Andami kasing naduduling pagdating sa pag-ihi yata. Di ata sila asintado!

#3 Hairy encounters
Ever heard of hair balls? We have hair monsters. I think they even breathe and swim. EEEWW! Imaginin mo kung saan-saan ka makakakita ng buhok... Di bale sana kung buhok galing sa ulo yun e. Ang madalas kasi, makikita mong buhok ay yung parang sa bunot... yung matigas... at patay...crinkly pa nga. At madalas na makikita mo sa may inodoro, sa may lababo, sa may labahan ng underwear, at sa may showers. Yung iba, parang nakikipagsubunutan yata habang umiihi sila... biruan niyo andaming naiiwan sa toilet bowl!

#2 two-ply
Imaginin mo, iihi ka sana. Tapos biglang humangin ng malakas. Susunod na alam mo, umuulan na ng tissue... but wait, bakit parang may kumain ng chocolate sa cubicle at ginamit ang tissue na nahuhulog sa iyo na pampunas ng bunganga. Then you realize na hindi lang naman chocolate ang bagay na brown na pwedeng pahirin kapag ika'y nasa banyo... EEEEWWWW!

#1 Toilet Blues
May isang message lang ako sa lahat ng nasa dorm ko... Don't seat like a frog. Seat like a queen... or king for that matter. Grabe lang ha! Imaginin mo kung bigla kang may makitang liquefied na digestion product sa may water tank ng bowl. In other words, bakit may jebs sa may flusher? Tumutulo-tulo pa! Yuck! Sana man lang di ba pinunasan na lang niya at least baka nasa number two lang siya ng listahan ko! Yuck yuck and yuck!

EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

5 (Disgusting) Ingredients You Probably Didn't Think You're Using...Until Now

1. Crushed Insects
Next time you're in a cactus garden, you might see some small scaly looking insects on some plants. They look something like this:

They look so crunchy and squishy

The last thing you'd ever think of doing to them is touch them or eat them even... right?

UHMMM....

These scaly insects are actually being farmed and harvested for one thing: the color red! Yup everything that you probably use which is of a shade of red probably has these little crawling things as one of its main ingredients. That little lipstick of yours, that red shirt you are wearing and even that red gum you are chewing. Yum! What they do is they dry the insects and then crush them. Some guy probably decided to crush these little pests for no reason and then decided to use the guts of this insect for his food....

2. Whale Crap or poop
We all have heard of the never-ending fights between whales and Giant Squid but this usually ends with the squid beeing digested by the whale. However not all parts of the squid is digestable like the beak which is pointy and sharp. Imagine the pain you'll feel if you accidentally swallowed a knife. So to protect themselves, sperm whales produce a waxy substance inside their stomachs called ambergris to make the passage of the sharp stuff easier. Of course, in time it collects inside the stomach so the only way to expel it is either through the whales back end or the mouth... Imagine the smell either way :-/

It doesn't smell like whale poop now but still looks like it... Just a li'l bit dried out

SO?
Well the thing is, ambergris, after it oxidizes and becomes all waxy and greyish (with still some poop on the side sometimes) smells musky (or funky) and is being used for all those European perfumes you loved to use to impress that girl or that guy you have been using. What you didn't know was you were actually spraying some whale crap on yourself to make you smell alluring...

3. Cow Poop
Cow dung doesn't smell the loveliest among things. You wouldn't think of putting it on your body much less of eating it right?

RIGHT?
Well just recently, Japanese scientists were able to extract vanillin from cow dung by heating it. So probably, the next time you eat that satisfying vanilla ice cream or use that vanilla-smelling perfume, think about this too:

Mmmmmm... tastes like vanilla with just a little bit of grass

4. Insect Secretion
We've had dead insects in this list so what's worse than that? Well we've had bodily secretions on the list too from whales why not insects? Oh we have one on the list too? great! Shellac is that thing which makes a lot of things from doors to tables shiny. Where does it come from? the lac bug secretes it as it lives inside the bark of some trees.

AS LONG AS I DON'T EAT It.... oh...
Shellac is also used to make those apples oh so shiny and those pills so appealing. Hey is that a glazed candy with a shiny coat? great...

5. A Beaver's Behind
Apparently, that "Natural Flavoring" you see in Vanilla or Raspberry ice cream is there for a reason. Would you eat it if you found out it came from some body parts near the anal glands of a beaver. Castoreum is basically the secretion from these parts which is mixed with the urine by the beaver when it's marking its territory. For some reason, this wiseguy decided to collect beaver pee and put it in his ice cream... and ended up eating vanilla-flavored ice cream.Could this be the reason why Haagen Dasz is so expensive?

5 Things Adults Make/Made for Children (but totally aren't)

It just makes me wonder sometimes how adults seem to think they know how to humor little boys and girls when sometimes they end up scarring them for life. And now, to the list:

1. Clowns

I don't know whose brilliant idea it was to paint on a face with a humongous mouth and call it funny. Clown's don't look funny at all; they look creepy… even scary. Children sometimes even cry when they see clowns in a party. Most of the time, they get so scared that they develop into phobias into adulthood. Is putting on clown make-up some kind of sick humor invented by adults so they can show children who is boss? As for the clowns themselves, don’t they realize that one of the main problem as to why they have difficulties in managing children’s parties is because the children are too afraid to go near them… either they just don’t get that or they are just plain evil. As to who is the scariest clown, I’d probably say it’s that guy from some farm in a yellow and red outfit that makes you eat burgers and floats and makes you all fat and big so he can eat you in the future.

2. Ventriloquist puppets/ Porcelain dolls

Remember those little dolls or puppets which have those big round glass eyes that blink when you move the doll.  And that stare…. that stare onto blank space which makes you think that the doll is staring at your soul and that it is trying to steal your soul so it can finally walk and live a life on its own. But seriously, who thought of making those creepy dolls anyway? Children get nightmares thinking about them… and more importantly, why do adults still collect them after Chuckie and all the other series of Child’s Play sequels made you want to throw all the toys in your house. Do those blank stares have some kind of hypnotic effect?

"I'm looking into your soul"

3. Barney

If you don’t know Barney, you are probably way too old or too young to be using the internet. For you people who were lucky enough to not be introduced to this purple and annoyingly-happy dinosaur, he was just that: Purple, annoying as hell and with a chuckle that’s reminiscent of new chalk on a blackboard. Oh… and he had a green triceratops girlfriend too (Baby Bop). I forgot to mention that he was a t-rex. Yup  for some reason, adults forgot Barney was this:

"I'm purple and annoying"

Or they just probably want to make the kids learn in horror as to what Barney would do to his girlfriend after shooting all of the seasons.

4. Fairy Tales

If you grew up watching Disney cartoons and movies which actually make sense when compared to Miley Cyrus, then you probably know the untrue stories of the Fairy Tales we all love. But the original fairy tales were far from the happily ever after thingie Disney embedded in our mindset. In fact, they were actually gruesome and not kid-friendly. For example, Sleeping Beauty was actually raped and the reason why she woke up was because after she gave birth to twins (while she was asleep) one of them decided to suck on her thumb. The Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen ended in her suicide, and that her tongue was cut off so she can’t speak… oh and whenever she walked, her new feet bled like hell. Cinderella’s step sisters cut off bits and pieces of their legs, Snow White’s step mother wanted to eat her (snow white’s) innards, etc. For some reason, Disney decided to make these stories for children.

"She's so pretty when she's sleeping. Maybe I should sleep with her."

5. Nursery Rhymes

We learned them at school, listened to cassette tapes with them, even played while singing them… Now if only we knew how political and sometimes gruesome they actually were. Whose idea was it to make them songs for children anyway? Would you sing a song about the symptoms of the Bubonic Plague while happily spinning around of you actually knew what they were; Or that Mary’s silver bells and cockleshells were actually torturing devices during the time of Queen Mary. Oh and those cockleshells were used for men only…

"Guess where I got attached"

Monotony

After around a month of doing something everyday, things start to get pretty boring so It pays to have some form of hobby on the side just to let your mind wander off someplace else. Every now and then you get to see something unusual at work like this Brandy which is older than my grandparents ...or seeing a dark shadow of a person when you're all alone in the office...

My hobby was baking but if  I kept baking cheesecakes every week, I would probably become fat again, or make my sisters fat (MWAHAHAHA) so I have to change that hobby...

Quilled Fairy

So I discovered a new hobby. I needed some kind of outlet for my creative-artistic side and so I found about paper quilling. Basically, it's just curling strips of paper and forming them into figures. Sounds easy? Not really... For my first attempt I used all the paper snips from my paperwork. Here's what I produced:

15 lbs!

At home I had to continue exercising but going to the gym costs a lot. I needed some form of weight for my resistance training. Then I realized my old readings weighed a ton when I brought them to class. Why not use them? It turns out 3 of them together weighed 15 pounds! Bigatin talagang mag-isip mga prof ng UP! So with a little help from the net and some tweaking, I'm happily back on track with my exercise program :) Now I can continue baking every week :))

King of the Weight Divisions

Ever since I began exercising regularly, and doing some strenth training, I've been hearing two comments: "Tumaba ka!" or "Parang lumiit ang ulo mo..." The first comment makes me furiously annoyed and the second one is probably still acceptable for me. Yeah, I gained wait but it's because I gained muscle mass, but that does not make me fat... does it?


Since high school, I really hated being told that I got fatter. the word "fat" was something which was taboo for me. I didn't know why I despised the word so much. Pondering about it, I just realized recently why I hated the term 'fat'. It might have something to do with me actually being really fat when I was really young.

Throughout my life, I've been through the different sections of the BMI for Filipinos; from the underweight to the almost obese section. Yep, I've been there and in this case, been that too :P How fat was I then? let's just say that my weight when my height was 4'4" was just ten pounds lighter when I was 5'3", I wore Medium or Large-sized shirts (adult size) in grade school, and I wear Small or Medium shirts now. I looked like I was a snowman then... all circles and no neck!

Jar Jar Binks

After being fat, my weight went to normal in the BMI for 6 months and after that, I went to being underweight by eleven pounds. It was around this time that my sisters and some of my friends called me Jar Jar Binks from star wars... Apparently, we both had long bony necks.


I might say that I hate the term fat because during the period when I was fat, I felt weak, tired, and I didn't feel good about myself. It was probably something that I didn't want to become again and being called fat makes me feel like I'm going back to that stage in my life. But just because I don't want to be fat does not mean I hate food. On the contrary, I love food and preparing desserts is something which I love doing.


I recently made a Mango-Peach-Strawberry Cheesecake. :) yum yum... Eating right is a must but rewarding yourself for achievements is something which you need to do too... In this case, the reward is a slice of cheesecake <3

Peach-Mango Cheesecake

P.S. Making that rose from mango slices was fun! LOL